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Any addict or over-user of a substance or behavior is cheating on you with his or her drug of choice. You think this goes without saying until you read something like this "Modern Love" and realize that human beings can rationalize staying with someone who leaves holes in their walls. If you're not risking having your heart broken, you're not doing it right. You know you're both going to mess up endless times and have to apologize and be forgiven and forgive. You have to talk about -- or at least show -- what you want.

After repeating our patterns we don’t know what a normal, healthy relationship is.

How do we really know if he is the right guy for us? I found myself dating the same type of person three times in a row over two years who was not good for me.

After that experience of dead end relationships, I developed a self-awareness compass to guide me during dating that led me to say I do to my fiancée.

There’s no jealousy or second-guessing in the relationship. It’s hard to have a harsh tone when you speak out of care and concern.

Do you have these qualities in your current relationship?

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